


Oublier

by bunnyndisguise



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Abduction, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gallifreyan, Season/Series 09 Spoilers, Sexual Content, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 17:45:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5674930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnyndisguise/pseuds/bunnyndisguise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place between S8 and S9. </p><p>"Nononono", the Doctor groans, "Missy, what have you done?"<br/>Missy cackles like a witch, gleefully playing the part. "I simply made you show your hand pet."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Oublier

**Author's Note:**

> The epilogue is pretty much S9 spoilers, so if you haven't seen it you'll be confused. You can skip the epilogue, but I like to think the main story explains a lot of Twelve's actions in S9. So here's my first story, hope you like it.

The Doctor frantically waves his sonic screwdriver in front of Clara's eyes, reads the output, then repeats the motion just to make sure he’s reading it correctly.

"Nononono", the Doctor groans, "Missy, what have you done?"

Missy cackles like a witch, gleefully playing the part. "I simply made you show your hand pet."

The Doctor looks sideways at Missy, while still studying Clara's face. "You have no idea..no idea what you've done..."

"On the contrary, Doctor dear, I know exactly what I've done, to be sure, have you ever known me not to know what I'm doing? I'm so excited to see how my little amusement will play out. I'm ever so on pins and needles poppet, you'll let me know, won't you? Now, off you pop...in more ways than one!" She gives one more enthusiastic cackle at her work, and is gone.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

It had been too easy for Missy to snatch Clara from him. It was a crowded market on the planet Meta Sigmafolio, as they waited for the Starfire Festival to begin. He had wanted to cheer her up after the Danny ordeal, but if he had to admit it, it was more for him, a selfish notion yes, he was a selfish man when it came to his Clara, and he wanted all her smiles for himself. The Doctor had promised Clara a spectacle for the eyes. Clara's eyes had sparkled and her smile had been dazzling, the one he loved most, the one with the dimple. When the TARDIS landed, he couldn't wait to see what her face would gift to him when the starfire ignited the oily sky. It made him anxious and a little bit frightened anticipating her reaction. Frightened for what her smile would do to him next. He wanted to show her everything, excited like a child, like a stupid over-excited child, that turned his back on his mum, and so he lost her.

A mild panic set in, but never made it full-blown because of the easy trail Missy had left him to follow. He should have known she wanted to be found. It wasn't easy enough though, by the time he found them, it was too late and Missy had already wreaked the havoc she had had planned for him.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Clara seems catatonic; 'Good' he thinks to himself, 'the pain hasn't set in yet.' He can make it back to the TARDIS before it starts. He gathers her small frame to his chest, and surges urgently forward. By the time he makes it to the TARDIS, her breath is coming in short puffs on his neck.

"Almost there, almost there Clara," he whispers softly to her. He carries her gently to her room and gingerly lays her on her bed. He tucks the duvet around her as best he can, knowing it will do no good, she'll be thrashing out of it soon enough, he sits himself down on the edge of the bed with her and waits.

Her eyes flutter and she blinks awake, then gazes over at the Doctor sitting quietly next to her. "Doctor? What happen..."

"Never mind all that," He cuts her off impatiently, "There isn't time. You must listen to me carefully Clara." "What..." she begins again, he interrupts her forcefully this time, "Clara!! Do as you're told and Listen to Me!! Your faculties will soon go the way of the Dodo, yes malfunctioning to the highest degree I should think, as the pain sets in and it will be tremendous! Missy has 'infected' you with a Gallifreyan aphrodisiac." His frame shakes slightly, and he says more to himself, "Where did she even get it? How.."

"Doctor, Focus!" Clara snaps "Pain? You mentioned pain?" she says with a smaller voice.

The Doctor snaps back to focus and looks at Clara. "It's deadly to humans." He says gravely.

Clara's eyes become round and watery.  "No, no don't do that with your eyes! Stop it!" He pleads, 'anything but that' he thinks to himself.

"Am I going to die, Doctor? Is there a cure?"

"No. To the first question. Yes. To the second.  In fact, there are two antidotes."

"Which are...?"

"One is on Gallifrey of course, pay attention."

"And..." She waves her hand to help him along.

He suddenly wants to look at anything in the room but her.

"Doctor? Doctor. Look at me." She says softly, feeling the tension in the air. Finally he stands and looms over her in her bed, locks his grey eyes onto hers, which makes her heart skip a beat.

"And the other...?" she asks half-heartedly.

Taking a deep breath he says, “Is in me.” Then exhales softly watching her closely.

“In you? What does that even mean Doctor? Is this a riddle? If it is I’m in no mood….”

“No, listen to me Clara,” he cuts her off before she can work herself into a state, “soon you will be in so much pain I won’t be able to stand it. I need to know if what I need to do will be all right…with you. Do you understand? Please say you understand.”

“Doctor, I don..” she stops mid-sentence as she watches him put his face in his hands and say more to himself, ‘Nononono’ repeating it over and over to his hands covering his face. Fear clutches her heart.

“Focus!” she snaps her fingers a couple of times at him. She gasps when he finally lifts his eyes to hers, she sees the defeat.

“Doctor..” she says with warning, warning him not lose it, to stay with her. He finally draws a deep breath and says something alien to her ears. Before she can question him about it, he answers her.

“Humans call it semen.” He watches her, penny in the air. Her eyes go wide, penny drops.

Clara looks at the Doctor with disbelief, “Excuse me, what did you just say Doctor?” He huffs out a frustrated breath not wanting to repeat it. “You heard me Clara.”

“Well, then, I guess go bring me some, be quick about it. Do you need some kind of magazines?”

‘Oh, she’s hilarious’; he thinks to himself, ‘She has no idea.’

“No,” he says quietly, “It’s got to be freshly injected.”

“Uh, what? You mean you… and….me…and, and you…?” she gets it.

He can’t take it any longer, He backs away from her, till his back comes to the wall, slumps against it and slowly slides down so he’s sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest, head down.

“Ok, yeah, I get it now. Wow. Missy really wanted to fuck with you,” she says sympathetically, “or she wanted you to do it to me….” She trails off, knowing that humor isn’t appreciated right now.

She suddenly comes to a decision, “Right then, let’s go, I can take it.”

He speaks quietly to the room in general, “Did you stop and think that I can?” Head still down.

This stuns her, “Oh….Doctor,” she whispers, unshed tears prickle at the back of her eyes. She suddenly doubles over, “Aaaaaaah!” she groans painfully. His head snaps up and he’s quick to her side, “Clara!” he calls to her. But it’s begun; he knows she’s in for it now, just the beginning. The chemical in the drug calls out to his Gallifreyan blood. He takes a deep breath to steady himself. He’s relieved and thankful to know that his will power is so strong.

She groans and starts to thrash, ‘there goes the duvet’ he thinks grimly to himself. She sees the Doctor’s concerned face looking down at her through a soft haze of red, a spasm hits her again, and the scream rips from her throat before she can stop it, cutting him like glass. He gathers her into his arms, tightly hugging her to his chest, he starts talking to her through the pain, because right now, that’s all he knows what to do.

“The high born Gallifreyan women take this aphrodisiac to encourage the highborn men to reproduce, otherwise they’re too preoccupied with higher pursuits, continuum of the race and all that, idiots, don’t know any better, lucky the women do, we’d be extinct. The problem is, you need two hearts to process the drug…” he trails off, not knowing if she’s hearing him. He swallows hard, looking at the pain written all over her face. It’s killing him, her beautiful face contorted in pain, his beautiful Clara, “Oh my Clara” he can barely say her name. “It’s killing you, it’s trying to synthesize your physiology to a Time Lord’s, it never will…and it will kill you…unless…unless nononono.” He’s gone back to his new favorite chant. Clara gives another jolt of pain in his arms, “Doctor…please…help me.” She whimpers painfully. “Please Doctor, it’s ok, it’s not like I haven’t thought about…abo..want…you” her voice peeters out from the strain of talking. He lays her gently down and backs away from her, staring at her with disbelief, rubs his face and let’s loose with a string of Gallifreyan words. He knows she only has hours. She reaches out to him and he sweeps her up in his arms again. When he speaks to her, it’s soft and intimate, “Clara you are the most important thing in the universe to me. Did you know that?” He waits for an answer, hoping she does, then, she nods slightly, imperceptively. She knows, of course she does, has always known.

He lays her gently back on the bed. Clara watches him through her pain, “I’ll change the frequency in my telepathic skin to feel your emotions and adjust it to feel what you feel so I can monitor the pain,” he explains, then adds, “the touch of my Gallifreyan skin, which is what the chemical in your body craves right now, should help abate a little of the pain.” He shakes his head, “It’s funny how the little things don’t matter……until they do.” He finishes sadly picking up his sonic screwdriver.

He shrugs out of his coat, removes the layers of clothes he has on until he’s finally bare-chested.  Reaching down, he starts working on removing her shirt, taking care in unbuttoning the tiny buttons. She’s like a rag doll when he lifts her up to draw her shirt off her arms and unhooks her bra. He takes a sharp inhale of breath at the beautiful sight in front of him, he gently cups her breast, and he can feel the pain subside slightly. She looks at him with grateful relief; he detects it immediately and brings her flush to his naked chest. She sobs out in relief, “Yes, yes thank you Doctor!” “It’s only a temporary fix Clara…my Clara..” he mumbles.

He climbs onto the bed and lays flat on top of her, trying his best not to crush her. Another spasm and she sobs in pain, he felt that one, “My poor Clara.” He tries to soothe her, but he had felt that in his gut and it was not pleasant. He’s defeated, he has no choice, “Clara” he says softly “open your eyes, look at me.” She opens her beautiful chocolate brown eyes and tries to focus on his face. “My Doctor.” She sighs weakly. He sees the love she has for him shining through the pain. “I need to know, Clara, please…is this ok?” he says with a small voice. His only answer is her small shaking hands come up to his belt, doing their best to unbuckle it. He covers her hands with his own stopping the motion and smiles down at her. He’s propped up on his elbows over her, so he leans down and covers her mouth with his own. She sighs into his mouth and opens to his tongue. Relief, oh he feels that, his tongue hesitantly tests the feel of her mouth, soft, plush, wet, oh yes, he wants this badly, maybe for a while now, who’s he kidding.

He plunders her mouth, his tongue teasing her’s, running it over her teeth, sucking her bottom lip, she begins to return his kisses enthusiastically, exploring his mouth in turn with her clever tongue. She wants this just as bad, he’s relieved. Her hands that were shaking badly before have stopped and she cards her fingers through his curls and murmurs, “so soft”. He’s melting under her touch, lost in her kisses. She simultaneously gives an impatient tug to his hair and with her other hand tugs at the waistband of his pants. He chuckles softly and sits up to remove the rest of his clothes and the loss of touch sends a painful spasm through her, she cries out to him, it cuts through his hearts. “No! Hold on Clara, just hold on!” He shucks his clothes quickly and gently makes short work of what she’s still wearing. He lays himself flush with her soft body again, naked finally, skin to skin, they both sigh in relief. She slowly eases her thighs apart for him and he settles himself between them. His throbbing erection caught between her pelvic bone and his own. He settles his hands on her shoulders for a hold, and she reaches down between them and takes a hold of him just as another spasm runs through her, he winces as he feels it. “Clara”, he pleads, “look at me.” She works her eyes open and looks deep into his pale grey eyes, she sees the love she needs to see and wraps her arms around his neck. He positions himself at her entrance and slowly pushes into her. She takes a sharp intake of breath and sighs, “Ohhh yes!” he swallows it with a kiss and pulls away at her first gasp. He wants to watch her carefully now, make sure he’s not hurting her. Her eyes slide closed as she hums with pleasure, he pushes deeper until their hips are flush against each other. He waits, his hearts pounding so hard, he’s afraid they’ll break through his chest with the tight, hot feeling of her surrounding him, the pain has finally abated and the whole experience has him reeling with the sensation. He knows the pain is waiting on the fringe, waiting to come back until he finishes.

“Doctor”, her voice is husky, sensual and goes straight to the bottom of his stomach and then groin, “Ooh God, move…please move…” He slowly pulls out, just to his tip, then flush again. She groans in her chest, he can’t help but mimic her. “Christ Clara, what’re you doing to me?” Her nails dig into his back as his thrusts become more purposeful. A tingling starts gathering in his toes and is working up to the pit of his belly, he knows he’s experiencing Clara’s pleasure he picks up speed and she wraps herself around him like a blanket. Her thighs are clenched around his hips and she’s emitting small whimpers and gasps every time he returns to her depths. He buries his face in the crock of her neck and breathes her in, she’s keening his name steadily now. He feels the tingling building to a crescendo, how will he ever survive her climax, let alone his own.

It hits her suddenly, hard, like an exploding star, toe curling shock waves shoot through the both of them. His breath catches and his hips stutter, almost forgetting the task at hand as he rides out her orgasm with her. Then he feels his own electric blue climax hit him, all he can do is cling to her, holding on for dear life as white lights explode behind his eyelids. He’s cussing now in seventeen different alien languages throwing in some ‘fucks and shits’ for good measure. He’s so clenched up it takes a minute to release and relax his frame and calm the cramp that’s threatening to evolve in his hamstrings and glutes. He collapses on her chest and only then realizes she’s been stroking his hair, his back, his chest, his shoulders, soothing him, bringing him back to her. The pain has stopped for now, he catches his breath and looks at her, relieved to see she almost looks like his Clara, but he knows this is only half the battle. He feels her afterglow contentment, he moves to slip himself out of her, but she stops him. “Stay, just a bit more.” she murmurs, what can he do but listen to her, he’s content to stay where he’s at, she’s so bossy and he craves that right now. He draws a shaky breath and kisses her collarbone with affection. Finally, finally she releases him and he falls to her side. She’s smiling at him so coquettishly it’s hurting him to his core. He hates to ruin the moment, but, “Clara, just so you’re aware, we’ll need to do this at least 4 to 5 more times to make sure you’re good and doused.” “Mmhm ok Doctor..” she mumbles suddenly sleepy. “Get some rest. I’m afraid the pain will wake you in about 15 to 20 minutes. We’re lucky my metabolism is ten times that of a human, making my refractory period short.” He looks over at her, but she’s already out, he smiles indulgently at her. “Better get as much rest as you can Clara, you’re gonna need it.”

Holy shit, how he loves this woman, this goddess.

That first time he had only been thinking of how much he hated Missy. The second time, how much he hated himself. The third time though, all he could think of was Clara, his Clara. She was swallowing his soul up, he felt short of breath (also for obvious reasons) unfocused. Clara, Clara, the way she molded herself to him in ecstasy, dragged her blunt nails down his back, scratching softly but enough to make marks, he was sure of that, the way she arched into him, how she kissed his shoulders, chest and face, slowly giving him a touchstone for his strongest orgasms. Always letting him know she was right there, there with him, always. Her face in the throes of her own passion was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and he’d seen a lot of good stuff. He’d heard the Rings of Akhaten sing for fuck’s sake. She was so beautiful with her eyes as big as saucers and her lips swollen from his stubbly kisses forming a perfect ‘O’ as he thrust deeper and deeper into her. A sheen of sweat covering her lithe little body as she clung to him so wantonly, clenching her thighs so tight about him, it was all he could do to not sob at the over whelming sensations she was giving him.

By the fourth time he knew, he knew she was a distraction and would continue to be. Clever Gallifreyan women, they really knew what they were doing. And it was doing a doozey of a number on him. He’d never get any work done, just to drown in her soft honey skin. This wouldn’t do, too many species counted on him. He buried his nose in her hair and breathed deep, letting his senses take hold of him, just being with her in the moment.

The fifth time was because he was selfish, yes, he’d established that earlier.

He knew she was better; he just wanted her one last time. She had clambered on top of him and rode him like her own special pony ride, taking their breathes away and crying out in throaty passion. This one was a noisier go than the others, but no less fantastic. It’s his own special drug now, he’s definitely addicted.

He knows what he has to do now, and it’s breaking both his hearts.

They lay on their sides now, facing each other, she traces the lines on his face softly, every once in a while moving in for a languid kiss. With a sad smile he reaches out and places his fingers on her temples, she has no idea, he’s gone full circle, he hates himself again.  ‘Do it Doctor, before you can’t’ he tells himself. He begins quietly telepathically wiping the day from her memory. She only just catches on and realizes what he’s doing , she tries to pull away, it’s too late, he’s already established the link and the memory wipe can’t be stopped now. “No!!” she screams at him in anger, the betrayal evident in her face now, “Don’t you dare! You can’t!!” He sadly watches her fight the inevitable; it’s breaking him into pieces, all the kings horses and all the kings men…

“Clara, it’s for the best.” Is the last thing she hears him say, the emotion clear in his voice. “It’s for the best, my Clara.”

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

He takes her back to her flat and carries her sleeping form to her own bed. Arranges the blankets and pillows for her, and then stares down at her for a while. She looks peaceful and beautiful, he feels weary, and he needs to go find the closest nebula and brood. But he stays, watching her for at least an hour; he doesn’t know how long, he’s not keeping track. Finally, he snaps out of his reverie and realizes, if she wakes up now he’ll have some explaining to do.

As the TARDIS takes him away, he begins to think on where Missy could have gotten it, he might thank her if he sees her again. No. He’ll probably kill her, yeah, most likely that. Make her use up at least one of her regenerations anyway.

He was going to use his TARDIS to do a memory wipe on himself of the day, but decides against it.

Selfish, remember?

He wants to keep everything about her intact in his mind, hoard the memories of their day together like an old miser. He wants to make himself scarce for a while, and heads off into the universe. “I’ve had worse days.” He says out loud to no one in particular. If anyone were listening though, they’d know rule number one by heart.

 _The Doctor always lies_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What color do you think the Doctor's climax would be, what was his first love, think about it.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara's POV S9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S9 spoilers

(Clara's POV)

Clara sits across from Missy at the outside café, she wants to clear up the frozen planes problem. Missy watches her carefully, then inhales a sharp breath startling Clara. “The bloody bastard! The coward! The complete and utter fuckwit!” she seethes to herself, which clearly confuses Clara. Missy gathers her composure and says sweetly to Clara, “Clara luv, don’t you ever let him steal your memories again…” then adds with contempt, “Not Ever!” Clara smiles uncomfortably, clears her throat, she has no idea what Missy is on about, so she says instead, “About these planes..”

***

It confuses her further when the Doctor greets her in medieval England, he not only hugs her, he practically clings to her, plus what’s with the eye-hiding sunglasses? He keeps complimenting her, something has changed and she’s pretty sure she likes it.  
Later, when they're on Skaro, he announces to the entire planet to bring Clara to him or he'll lose it. He's threatening Daleks for her?

***

As Clara and the Doctor’s adventures continue he seems more affectionate towards her. She loves him but he seems to be acting like he’s ‘in’ love with her. There's definitely more hugging, finding ways to touch her, allowing her to touch him. He says such sweet things to her now, it almost makes her blush.

***

Finally, as a final act of devotion, he fights through hell to get to her in order to bring her back to the living. He fractures the universe for her. She's stunned speechless when the Time Lords tell her how long it took for him to get to her, she can't comprehend it, 4 billion years..

***

When the time comes at the end of the universe, she learns of his plan to wipe her memory, so of course she has to reverse the neural block to backfire on him, how dare he try to take her memories. When they both touch the neural block, the electrons in her memory cells fire and repair the lost connection from long ago and her memory of that day floods back to her. “Oh” she says softly looking at the alien in front of her with a new light. It explains so much. But it’s also too late. She’s losing him. When he pleads with her to give him one last smile, she realizes now, for the first time the swirling emotions he had kept locked inside himself for her. If her heart were still beating it would have shattered like glass. Then he's gone, he won't remember anything about her anymore.  
She flags a stranger down on the road and tells him under pain of death to watch over her slumbering Doctor.

***

She sees him one last time, when he wanders into her café with his guitar and sunglasses on, looking like he's hungover. She feels a special thrill to know he’s looking for her, even though he can’t even remember what she looks like, only her name, she loves this impossible man with every fiber of her being.

So, she had taken Missy's advice after all, she didn’t let him steal her memories again; he had actually given them back to her. She was furious at him at first when she found out what he had done. Then she realizes, there's no point. She’s off on her own adventures with her own companion now. She remembers how he held her, the feelings he had invoked in her. She could choke on the heartbreak of what she’s lost. She can feel the tears start to prickle, but then she thinks back to what the last thing he had said to her that day, “It’s for the best, my Clara.” and yes she decides with a finality, it was definitely for the best.

The French have a word for it, Oublier; to forget.

 

She never will. Never has to. She has all of eternity to remember.

Fin


End file.
